I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he thought i was a dude.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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