So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
