Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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