Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
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I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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