While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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