Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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