Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
