He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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