**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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