sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
