Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
