JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
