Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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