Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
