I will die if light touches me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
