In the future we'll all be gay
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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