Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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