Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
