u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
