I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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