that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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