How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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