his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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