she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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