Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
