Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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