I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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