dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize