You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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