i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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