we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
