I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
