You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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