I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
