Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am available for nakedness
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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