My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
