names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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