i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
