508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
