So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize