Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
this hospital has no fireball
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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