so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
