The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
