well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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