i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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