Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she told me i tasted like america
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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