He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
