Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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