Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
