i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
