there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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