We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
