yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize