And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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