eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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