I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize