You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
