I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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