worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there was a trapeze. enough said
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
