it wasn't lemon gatorade
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
