He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
