tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
