Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
