At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
