Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
