Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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